oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
