Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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