My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
