i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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