Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize