He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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