I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
