I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
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It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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