Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
