Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
