I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
