P.S. I can't hear my feet
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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