I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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