"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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