Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just found a bag of teeth...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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