I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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