I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You brought string cheese to the strip club
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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