I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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