Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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