you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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