Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
