the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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