This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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