Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
