so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
