The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
