Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Sponge bath it is.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
