I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
