So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
