At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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