this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize