So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
