that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
