Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
