I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
