Pants 0. Shit 1.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
