Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
