I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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