last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
