So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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