is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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