I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
