So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
