Dual....:-)
Is it because I queefed?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
