I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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