How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
