Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
