I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
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so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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