Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Its about making memories worth repressing
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
a search helicopter?!
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
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