Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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