I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize