I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
