I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My nipple is on Facebook.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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