I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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