Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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