Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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