ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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