I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
