watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
