How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
