____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
