it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
did i just pee glitter
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
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