hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
