is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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