I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
